When it comes to the infertility experience, guys get left out a lot. That's not to say that they'd like to trade places with their partners! Men may not express themselves in the same ways as women, but the feelings are there. Many yearn just as strongly as women to be parents.

In the spirit of fairness, and because Dads really are just as important as Moms, we'd like to share with readers some hope from the male point of view...

In our last issue, Angela Wharton spoke about the years she and husband Brett spent trying to get pregnant before meeting Sherie Kapocsi in a drugstore. Having heard a rumor about baby aspirin helping conception along, they noticed Sherie and her daughter and figured that a mother might have the key to their aspirin hunt.

Brett looks back with relief and wonder. "To think that we went to that Wal-Mart on that day and Sherie happened to be standing in the aspirin aisle at that moment... Angela just happened to ask her about baby aspirin. That one chance meeting changed our lives forever in an indescribably positive way."

Like most people we see in our clinic, Brett had always assumed that he would be a dad one day. After four years of unsuccessful attempts at getting pregnant the "old fashioned way," Brett and Angela started considering what might be their sad reality -- that having children wasn't in their future.

"Only couples who've been in that same situation," says Brett today, "know the calm sadness from thinking that you may never have the children you so desperately want."

Like virtually all couples in their shoes, Brett and Angela's journey was an emotional rollercoaster. "The hardest part for me was watching my loving wife be increasingly devastated month after month when the home pregnancy test was negative," he remembers.

Then, the serendipitous meeting with Sherie, who works here at Houston Infertility Clinic.

Brett felt instilled with new hope by the HIC staff's "friendly, professional, positive way of communicating. Above all else, they gave us the boost we needed to keep going."

After three failed intrauterine inseminations, Angela and Brett chose to try in-vitro fertilization. Brett recalls, "We agreed to give up if the IVF failed and make our lives without children."

The option of "giving up" became moot when their IVF succeeded, resulting in three beautiful children. Two boys and a girl, all healthy. In their proud dad's words, "A triple blessing."

Changed Minds Have Their Chance

Sherie Kapocsi's husband, Joe, has his own story to tell, about how he and Sherie focused on demanding careers and a life of freedom before thoughts of children entered the picture.

"Every year in September, when we both have birthdays, we would casually talk over dinner and wine about whether or not we should become parents," Joe remembers. "We had no pets, professional services cared for our lawn and house, even for our plants!" Every year, the happy couple would decide to talk about parenthood again in another year -- until something changed for Sherie on her 38th birthday. Suddenly, it was a serious discussion.

To Joe, it appeared like "everyone" was having kids in their late 30's and even 40's. Even he and his twin brother were born to a 39 year old mom. Now excited about the prospect of having a family, he was unprepared for the next few years of emotional ups and downs.

Once Joe met the challenge of the dreaded semen analysis experience (with good results,) the couple tried for a year without success to get pregnant. As the stressful months passed, they were reluctant to see a specialist as an OB/Gyn had suggested. In order to get the timing right between Sherie's long cycles and Joe's ever-changing flight schedule as an airline pilot, they pursued a minimal treatment regiment that included his frozen sperm, Clomid, and IUI. Still no success. Eventually, after meeting Dr. Kristiansen through Sherie's work as an OB/Gyn nurse, the couple began fertility treatment in earnest.

Three months later, a positive pregnancy test resulted in a little girl who would later nap on her daddy's chest on his own first Father's Day. For Joe, a man who hadn't given much prior thought to being a dad, the experience is "awesome."

"The first time she told me I was her prince and she was going to marry me... melted my heart," Joe says. "I knew at that moment that I would be broke for life."

Many Stories, Many Approaches

Chance encounters that result in dreams come true make for touching stories in hindsight. You don't have to wait for a life-changing moment like the Wharton's. You don't have to increase your stress and waste precious time by trying for months or years on your own. We at HIC are working daily toward steering your journey toward the happiest ending.

Sincerely,

Sonja B. Kristiansen, MD